Non-Believer. Atheist in fact.

I worked all weekend and felt dull, so I went with a friend to see The Believer's "Nighttime Event" thinking that although it wouldn't be a Gatsby cocktail at least I could sit uncomfortably amongst the litterati.

I'm not sure if I was in a bit of a hostile state because the girls behind me kept talking about summer in the Hamptons or because I hadn't eaten dinner, but something was stretched a little thin inside. I haven't been wholly convinced by the magazine -- I wasn't sure in what way exactly until tonight's baby-faced audience persuaded me that I am resentful of any body of writing heralded as the trumpet call of an invading "new generation of writers." One man behind me, noting the youthful appearance of the audience, remarked with glee and hopefulness how wonderful it was to see so many eager children at a literary event. Perhaps it assuaged his fear that the youth today are spending all their book-consuming hours on the Internet. I don't have anything to say about that.

It was a poignant evening. The first guest was music journalist Toure interviewing Q-Tip. I like Toure a lot (once again, his name has an accent, I don't know what to do about it). I liked that he would write articles in the NY Times on hip hop, and I was led blindly when he claimed Cody Chestnut was the dawn of a new musical era. Tonight he was much more pessimistic. I've been meaning to write about this for a while, and I may have to digress quite a bit, but it's about how very sad it is that hip hop died. Three death knells rang loudly in the past month:

First James Murdoch was named CEO of BSkyB in London. Since his poppy is Rupert, and Rupert owns BSkyB, there were cries of foul play and nepotism that dissipated in the wind like the whisper of dwarves in a clover patch. Why does this matter? As you may have noticed in some newspaper articles, James Murdoch's previous engagement was trying to start a hip-hop label. Does anybody remember what label? That's right, Rawkus Records. It just feels symbolic -- a wealthy white man's rebellion to start an independent label is abandoned, he accepts his post at his father's side, his wand poised to consolidate.

Second, Jay-Z retires. When the only good rapper in the game says he's bored because there's no one to battle with you can only hang your head in shame.

Third, and back to this evening, Q-Tip said something that really almost made me cry. He said the spirit of hip hop was that it was pertinent and that, as a co-opted genre, it's simply not pertinent anymore. In high school, where I was, that was exactly what it was, hip hop was the music that said something relevant. And last year, when I quit my radio show, it was because it just didn't feel relevant anymore. I thought that it was just from spending four years in the rather antithetical environment of an Ivy League bastion of whiteness. I started, with a great deal of self-loathing, to like indy rock. I felt like a sell out, but if Q-Tip says it, if Jay-Z says it, I believe it. And it isn't like there still isn't really good hip hop being made, it's just that the context has changed. And my friends making hip hop know they shouldn't stop.

Q-Tip finished up and a literary panel came on. Heidi Julavits, Jennifer Egan, Susan Choi, Stephen Elliot. They sucked.

But then, but then, Milton Glaser: graphic designer, semiotician, genius. He made everything right again. I love him.