From now on only shearling will keep me warm

I'm in Malibu trying to be a superstar. I thought that California was about boobs and bikinis but I was wrong. It's like Barbarella, or maybe Clan of the Cave Bear, uggs (ughs) on every man woman and child. Some with the added accessory of a swanky pelt over the shoulder. No leather loin cloths yet, but I haven't gotten out much. My friend's mom has the only pair of acceptable Uggggs in the neighborhood, hers reading "Malibu" down the back in Olde English font. I saw Sting lying on his deck in a bathrobe, Rod Stewart in a playground full of small pink ughs on swingsets, and Fred Siegal on a bench in a white v-neck cardigan, sans ugggs (as if).

I'm investigating the details of an $8 brand of peanut butter, called "Butter" with chunkE pistachios and hunny. Last night I was at a party that contained the following elements:
Checkered parquet floors
Hula-dancing lamp
Washed-up hollywood starletto, app. age 68
Cracked out fake-baker, app. age 16
Inventor of "Butter" in fur-cuffed coat (male)
900000 ft. television screen
pinball
jumbo pac of lighters
Brandon
Molly
Emily

The starletto swept me off my feet into a mangled foxtrot. Charmed, I sipped my 7&7 while he whispered unintelligible nothings in my hear. His dark suit, it was hollywood, he was washed up, I thought for a moment I was in Weetzie Bat but this was real. Marilyn Monroe was biting her lip in a portrait on the wall. The 'stang was outside with the top up.. .

I've let this project go to shit. My stats are down, no one comes here anymore and there's no one to blame but myself. I'm busy I'm busy. I'll be better. Promise. I have to say though that as I write this I am witnessing the most incredible sunset over the Pacific, palm trees sillhouetted against the pink sky, for all the world like the cover of my old Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper. I heard there's a winter mix falling in NY. Winter Mix. Mix it up.