I'm so relieved!

"Do you feel there is something missing in your life? Something not quite right? I bet you're not a virgin. How do I know? Because I used to be just like you. I'm living proof that regaining your virginity can be the road to a newer and fuller life. Thousands of people have come to us and they all say the same thing -- "Something's missing from my life and I don't know what to do about it!" They say "It's over," we say "It's just the beginning!" They come to me, the president of The Society for the Recapture of Virginity, and by using the VRS 3000TM I find their virginity and give them the world."

I've been looking at this on Friendster for so long. If only I had learned earlier.